1+1=2

From our early years we are bombarded with fairy tale endings, happily ever afters. We are told we have a soulmate. One half of a whole. Yin and Yang. Partner in crime. 50/50. Whatever bullshit name you want to call it by. The large majority of us know, it’s not quite correct. You kiss a lot of frogs trying to find your prince/princess and a lot of them can cause you serious trauma along the way.

There’s a disconnect in the way we look at reality and the way we as a society look at love/relationships. This doesn’t only apply to romantic ones but any form of intimate relationship you can have with another being. Why is it that we are told to be whole individuals yet told to shave ourselves down to fit into a relationship.

Relationships are difficult. They require compromise. They require communication. It can be work. They can be blindingly maddening and a crazy beautiful ride all at the same time.

1+1=2. Basic math. We all know it. It’s quite literally the first mathematical equation you learn.

All your relationships should make you BETTER. You should be totally whole and so should your partner. When you are both operating at 100% majority of the time you are able to support your partner when they need it. Maybe one of you is operating at 50% one day but that still allows one person to carry the weight. No one is ever 100% all the time but when you are operating from a place of self love and stability in your own life, you are able to look at your problems differently. The problem is not between you. It is you two versus the problem. It’s about being a team. Working together. Being partners. Adding value to each other.

When you are operating at 50/50 and relying on another human for feelings of stability, love, security and so on it leaves room to be toxic. You aren’t loving this person because you have the love to give, you are loving them from a place of codependency. It allows us to enable people’s bad habits and form new ones of our own.

The mentality that you are not complete until you find your soulmate is wrong. You are who you are. You are a complete human with the capability to love MORE and give MORE. There is no such this as too much love but there is a such thing as an absence of communication. We'll get into that next time.

XOXO

Mihika